Here's another one for the "what will happen to Tiger Woods next?" file: on Sunday at the Frys.com Open, a fan ran toward the seventh green at CordeValle in San Martin, Calif., screamed out "Tiger!"
and threw a hot dog at Tiger Woods.
Read that again: somebody tossed a hot dog, bun and all, at Tiger Woods. No, we don't know what to make of it either.
The meat-slinger knew he was in for it; as soon as he threw his meal (which, according to the AP, came apart in mid-flight, the bun barely reaching the green and the hot dog flopping to a stop on the dance floor) he dropped to the ground and lay in the classic "Cops" waiting-to-be-arrested pose, without the meaningless protests of innocence. Woods was never in any danger of being hit by meat or meat by-products, and after his round was over could smile about the incident.
"Some guy just came running on the green, and he had a hot dog, and evidently ... I don't know how he tried to throw it, but I was kind of focusing on my putt when he started yelling," said Woods, who's shrugged off far worse invasions of his personal space than this. "Next thing I know, he laid on the ground, and looked like he wanted to be arrested because he ... put his hands behind his back and turned his head."
The 31-year-old dog-tosser, whose name was not disclosed, was arrested for disturbing the peace, a misdemeanor. "He was very cooperative," Sgt. Jose Cardoza told the AP. "They said, 'Why did you do this?' He just shook his head in guilt or remorse. He didn't give a reason why he did it."
While Woods wouldn't be a winner on this day, he still managed a decent round of 68 with occasional red-hot stretches. His drives had plenty of mustard on them, but all too often he wasn't even in the same ballpark as the fairway, making it exceedingly difficult for Woods to catch up with the leaders. Still, he clearly relished being out on the course again for the first time since the PGA Championship, where he had an embarrassing missed cut in one of his worst outings as a pro. His week was far more kosher this time around; he finished tied for 30th, which, to be frank, is a lot better than we would have expected given his long layoff from golf. And the packs of fans' reception for Woods was anything but chilly; Woods' appearance reportedly tripled ticket sales for the Frys, as many fans never saw such a star make an appearance at the Fall Series event.
Woods will now play several exhibition rounds in Asia and Australia teeing off in November as part of the United States delegation for the Presidents Cup, where we presume he won't be — wait for it — hot-dogging it. (Sorry. So sorry.)